Andrew *Sigh*monds in Big Boss

Today, as my fingers were busy scampering on the remote control buttons, I stumbled upon Colors while it was airing Big Boss season 5. With a random mindset of just staring at the TV for no reason in my half-sleep mode, I decided to watch the entire episode. 

Ok Ok ! to be honest I wanted to catch a glimpse of Sunny Leonne in the house..Btw she does look cute man! *tsk tsk*

Ok ..now let’s shift focus from Sunny Leonne please and get back to what I am suppose to talk about. Andrew Symonds, the brawny Aussie cricketer is the latest entrant in the house. And the poor guy looked so out of place as if he was some Jaadoo from another planet who has landed amongst the humans. 

The lad cannot speak and understand Hindi and therefore can't talk with anyone as the general rule of the show is to communicate only in Hindi. For his rescue,an ex house inmate has been allocated as his translator who has re-entered the house.This will kind off also save the situation of Andrew misinterpreting other house inmates.What if someone knowingly/unknowingly utters 'Maa ki' in front of him...*laughs*  However, that translator chick seemed to endorse herself more than being a tongue and ear to Andrew. I suggest Bhajji should replace her and become Andrew's translator.

But look at the irony, the poor fellow is actually in a situation of a 'monkey' stuck in a cage amidst people where he can see, hear ,walk, eat but can’t communicate much with them.

*sigh*

Slapstick Saga: Harvinder Singh – He’s got the Pawar!

So here’s the plot. You are the Union Agriculture Minister of the country and have just finished attending a function at the NDMC Centre in the capital city and heading your way out with the security escorting you. A belligerent young man makes his way through the crowd and out of the blue before the security guards could even sniff, lands a thunderous chamaaat on the Minister’s face. Shocking. Scorning. Amusing.

Harvinder Singh, an infuriated Surd did the impossible by slapping the Nationalist Congress chief, Mr.Sharad Pawar in public. This bizarre incident gave the news channels and the media the right kind of meat which they can deep fry, richly garnish and serve it as yet another entertainment snack on the platter.

I am quite sure, that the number of times the slap footage was played in loop on all TV channels would have come close to that of the footage of Dhoni’s World Cup winning hit at Wankhede. After all both are so synonymous. ‘Phataaaaak’!!

Even the hugely popular number ‘Kolaveri Di’ had it’s new version on internet  called ‘The Chamaat Song’ featuring Sharad Pawar feat Harvinder Singh…Below is the link for you to enjoy this hilarious piece

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIhQm6gcUCw

Nonetheless, I am sure that this gutsy Singh’s stunt though obnoxious have instilled a sense of pride to some extent in the heart of every Indian. For all the facts that we know,  Mr.Pawar got a share of his due, which he really deserves.

Well done Harvinder Singh, you actually demonstrated the true meaning of “Saada Haq,Ithe Rakh”.. 

Humka Peeni Hai...Naam,Jalebi Bai...Munni Badnaam Hui..Sheela Ki Jawaani...NOW THAT IS HOW WE BID GOODBYE TO OUR LORD??!

Yes indeed. It is no more a Visarjan, it’s an item song brigade on the roads. 

Riding my way back home on the 7^th day of Ganpati Visarjan I came across the festive mood in the city, the beautiful Ganesh idols marching on the streets, the obvious traffic; but what really turned out to be a shocker was the way the processions of Visarjan being carried on with the so called DJ Dhinchaak music playing on.

Now firstly, it is not some on-the-go disco party on the roads where the police dispels the traffic so that you continue your obnoxious dancing on these outrageous item songs.

This is suppose to be a religious, sacred and joyful fiesta of Lord Ganesha where He arrives in our homes and the city to spread his charm all over. In response we are at least suppose to be equally courteous by worshipping Him wholeheartedly and celebrating His stay.

No doubt you have full license to rejoice and exult during the procession, but for Lord’s sake, when you are bidding your Bappa goodbye, please don’t humiliate the very essence of the festival by getting drunk and dancing to the glory of not the Lord but to these notorious item numbers.

Where have the beats of the classic old Nasik dhol, the delightful Ganpati songs, the chants of ‘Bappa Morya’ gone? Can we please have them back and reinstate the ‘real Ganpati dance’ instead of this fancy cheap hoedown.

Good Lord! Please come back soon next year...

Ganpati Bappa Morya..Pudhchya Varshi Lavkar Ya...

The picture of the Ganpati below was clicked at Girgaon Chowpatty on the last day of Visarjan this year. 

The gulal on His face gives a sensational look to the divine Elephant God.

Koshish ki seedi chadne se tu kyun ladkhadaata hai,
Jo Chahta ha, uss taraf kyun kadam nahin badaata hai;
Dheere dheere waqt khud tujhse keh raha hai yeh,
Ki chan paison ke liye tu kyun apne sapno ko bech aata hai....

Caught on the Wrong Foot

Just Dance is the message Hritik is spreading to aspiring  dancers though his new show while Just Dance in a Decent Way is what the Mumbai Police is advocating the youth to do.

The recent detention of 31 youngsters for dancing indecently at a Malad lounge has caused an outrage in the city. The police justified their action on ‘moral grounds’ stating that the way in which the youngsters were dancing was vulgar and indecent. But many in the city consider this as yet another case of ‘moral policing’. Many legal experts infact are of the opinion that such a raid by the cops on youngsters who were not doing anything illegal is a violation of their privacy.

Aren’t the cops having better and more important work to do? Instead of grabbing hold of youngsters and moral policing them, they are suppose to grab hold of criminals and gangsters. What is more ridiculous to understand is, who are these cops to decide and take a call on indecency in dancing. Are these cops the law makers, the masters of the art of dancing, choreographers or judges of dance reality shows to do so? Is there any sensible justification for such irrational action.

One also cannot drive away from the possibility that the same bunch of cops who arrested the youth might have at least once themselves done an obnoxious-lecherous-style dance seeing videos of Munni and Sheila. And if these guys are so good at defining decency in dancing, then why haven’t they raised similar questions on the latkas & thumkas & pelvic thrusts done in cinema and other dance shows for such a long time. 

It's time that we enforce the right laws at the right place and start enacting on issues that really matter. I would like to end this post by leaving a short message to the Police who try to moral police   - Naach Na Aaye Angan Teda…..

Bachann Productions presents - PAA 2 ; Introducing: Baby B ka Baby Producers: Abhishek Bachann, Aishwarya Rai Bachann Director: Amitabh Bachann COMING SOON

Now close your eyes for a moment and actually visualize this - 3 Bachanns together on screen doing the trademark ‘Pa’ dance promoting the sequel.*laughs*

Breaking News! Aishwarya Rai is Pregnant. Now what’s so earth shaking about this that it has to be featured as Breaking News on national TV. Every woman gets pregnant at some point of time in her life.Is mein koi jaadoo nahi hai. Unless and until it is ‘*Jaadoo*’ who is responsible for Ash getting pregnant and as usual Abhishek has No Idea about it.

So now, very soon Bachanns would be available in 3 variants. Big B,Medium B,Small B. Medium B in comparison to his Baap has not created any ripples in the market attributing a mediocre and sub standard Bollywood career.However,the launch of Small B would be interesting to look forward to. Possibilities for the Bachann child are endless. Once he/she is out of the mother’s womb, he/she would be in a cradle of endorsements. The star studded family might soon start their home production soap ‘Kahani Bachann ke Ghar Ki’. Saala yeh Bachann toh Bachpan se hi star ban jayega/jayegi.

As I said before possibilities are endless . All I can foresee is the amount of media coverage the royal Bachann kid will get once he is he/she is born. 

Aur yeh toh sirf trailer hai,puri picture toh nau mahine ke baad dikehgi…..

HUMKA PEENI HAI,PEENI HAI....HUMKA PEENI HAI....

Now let’s talk about this. Crisis hits you before you hit a quarter-life crisis.

The recent raise in the drinking age limit to 25 years in Maharashtra have baffled many people and have caused an unrest especially amongst the youth.

Not only does the drinking age hike sounds illogical but also raises questions on our youth being mature and responsible enough to handle their drinks before 25. Particularly when you are allowed to vote, marry at an age of 18, then why does one need to wait till 25 to pour a drink in his/her glass.

The judicial and jugaad system go hand in hand with each other in our country. Several laws are in any case breached due to availability of back door, under the table and many other compromising methods. Ironically, we have set our working motto like ‘Where there is a government’s will, there is always a shortcut way out of it’.

To make it worse, implementation of such irrational laws give more fodder for illegality to flourish. It’s not surprising, that many a times people who enforce such absurd laws are considered as hypocrites making a mockery of themselves. The point of concern here is not about curbing the ill effects of drinking but restricting one from choosing his/her way of living.

Can the concerned authorities come out of their hangover and get back in their senses where they can rethink about issues in a rational way? Can a practical approach be considered to revise the drinking age limit? Can there be laws set where you can at least think of abiding before ridiculing them?

Till something actually changes, we shall raise our voice, express our point of views and then wait and watch. Can anything else be done? The question remains unanswered.

Yaar waise bhi youngsters ke life mein gum kam nahi hai...upar se ab toh peene ko whisky aur rum bhi nahi hai. ..(such lines have to be there,afterall its my blog..haha)

That’s about it;  I am making a kind off abrupt end because raising your voice and opinion - yeh sab toh hote hi rehta hai...it’s my time to raise a toast ‘Aee Ganpat,chal daaaru laa’....

Craziness: Present... Half the People: Absent...

The House was filled with loudness and cheer,
We so miss the ones who are not near....

T'w'oo Close...

Last Sunday, I was back to playing a cricket match at Azad maidan after a long – longgggg time. When it comes to Azad Maidan, the grass is not green on any of the freakin sides.The ground is full of  dust,stones, ditches, lither, disposed condoms..opps shouldn’t hve mentioned that! Cmon why not, afterall its a ‘playground’! ;-)....

Playing at Azad Maidan always reminds me of those good old school cricket matches and various inter-collegiate tournaments. Infact, playing cricket itself brings back beautiful memories of wearing those white flannels everyday for practice, getting cheered by your team-mates, cracking jokes with the coach and hogging stall-wala chinese food outside the club right after the practice session ends.

The Sunday match was a delightful reunion with college cricket friends as we all had made a come back to cricket and carried our kit bags instead of the regular office laptop bags which we now carry everyday to work on weekdays. We all were pumped up to hit the field after a long break and resume our sporting personalities.

We won the toss and chose to bat first. Having being practicing on Saturdays, I was looking forward to play the match and get some runs under my belt. We had a steady start to the innings with little hiccups in the middle. I was holding the innings from one end and the come back was ideal as runs started flowing for me.

And then just when I was in the flurry of runs and heading to a milestone, the Game which has meant more than just a sport to me beckoned ‘There’s always a slip between the cup and the lip.’

I was out; stumped, falling two runs short of a century. I was however unware that I was so close but now so far. It was only when I returned to the dressing room and heard my teammates growling at me saying “Saale!! 98 pe bhi koi out hota hai kya!” I was astounded and with a ‘Oops’ expression on my face realised that a few moments earlier if I could have just given one glance at the dressing room, I would have known I was nearing a ton. Disappointed ,a bit, on missing out on a century, but then such situations instantly make you smile at yourself for a moment with a sigh.

However the interesting part was in the latter part of the match where we snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. We were defending a score of 196, which we thought would be good enough to take us home. But then, Cricket is a funny game after all. You should always expect the unexpected. With loose bowling and casual fielding we had the match slip away from our hands when the opposition with their 5 wickets intact needed 60 runs from 90 balls. The way they were comfortably cruising it seemed that we would definitely be taken to the cleaners.

But then, as I said earlier, it’s Cricket’s tendency to write its own script. The course of the game changed and the tables turned around. The match was evenly poised and was heading to a nail biting finish. With 20 runs required from 24 balls along with 4 wickets in hand, victory was playing hide and seek for both the teams.

It was a crucial stage of the match. Our captain had run out of options for bowlers as our mainline bowlers had finished their quota of overs.

The captain turned to me. Well!!! I am known for my offies(off spinners) and chipping in with a few overs in the middle, but then to bowl at this stage, which possibly could decide the result of the match, was a big challenge.

I had to really Change the Game! Now this phrase reminds me of what I was blabbering and flaunting to my cricket buddies all morning when we were travelling to the ground. ‘Change the Game’ is the tagline of the Pepsi campaign for the Cricket World Cup this year. I was acting cool , with my eyebrows raised talking about this campaign as it is done by the agency where I work in. Infact like a Enthu-Cutlet( bambaiya word for a person with too much enthusiasm), I titled myself as a ‘Game Changer’.

And what luck I was amidst a situation where the team needed a game changer. With 10 runs required from 12 balls, the contest was not just about scoring and saving runs but precisely holding on to one’s nerves.

The ball was tossed in my hand. It was make or break situation for me. Sahil, my leg spinner buddy spontaneously took the opportunity to throw in a comment, challenging me to prove the title which I had endowed upon myself all morning- 'The Game Changer'. As Sahil said it, “Dikha abhi game change karke’!!

The situation was tense for everyone on the field as well as off field in the dressing room. All I had to do was bowl on the stumps and do nothing extra ordinary. Funny how it is, when it comes to big situations, it is the basics that matter the most, not anything super human or unusual.

I started the over with a dot ball. The next ball the batsman tried to sneak in a single, but due to some fantastic piece of fielding by our captain, there was a mix up between the batsmen and we got a run out. The run out got our spirits high and we were ready to unfold the thriller.

The plan was simple.(Simple – here is very under-rated considering the situation I was in!). The plan was to bowl straight and disciplined. After another dot ball, I swayed away as I slipped in two consecutive wide balls. Damn! Two wide balls, two precious runs given to the opposition. The margin for error was too small.

I said to myself, how can I let the match slip away like that. I don’t want to let my team down. I regained courage and started bowling again with focus. The next ball I bowled fetched me a wicket-Stumped! I virtually punched my fist in the air though I literally didn’t do it because the golden rule of sport and even life (Oh damn! Philosophy creeping in!) is “It’s not over till it’s over.”

Having given only 3 runs from my over, the opposition now required 7 runs  of the last 6 balls. We were now staring at victory with determination which a few moments ago was a blurred vision.

The last over couldn’t have been more perfect with a good catch taken under pressure and having conceded only 2 runs from the last 6 balls. We won the match by 5 runs, courtesy brilliant last over bowled along with valiant team effort which finally resulted in a ripper of a match.

So that was end to an action packed super sunday. Truly, the only feeling that makes me follow my passion of playing this sport is “If it’s in the Game,it’s in the Game.”

Saturday Night...

Heyy Wdddp...Yes its Saturday Night and where am I? 


Nope, I am not at a Pub or a Lounge or a Club where all I do is watch other characters(drowsy,drunk,buzzed,happy high,sober guys,girls,uncles,boys- looking-like-uncles, guys behaving and dressed like the ones as if in no time the spot light is gonna be on them and the DJ is going to 'screech' their names aloud. Oops! did i mention that only for guys...Sorry girls! Its anyways universally implied for you all when it comes to the topic relating to 'the centre of attention' syndrome.


Ok so now I have revealed to you'll what I actually do when I go to pubs and clubs. I only Chill.Yeah literally...holding a chilled beer and standing there like a spectator watching a golf game;where I suprizingly don't understand what God dammit thrill he/she gets by watching the player with his stick in the hand aiming for holes!(pun intended! ;-) 


Alright, coming back to what I would usually do on a Saturday Night.Ummm! If you know me well or have spent time with me gulping the magic potion that temporarily liberates your soul(literally); which in it name says 'All -Cool - Ho'"..Yeah I made that word up :P....


But look at it in this sense; William Shakespeare said 'What is there in Name?' I tell him,' My friend there is a lot." 
like if you ask "What is there in Lemonade? Its Lemon. 
What is there in  Cold Coffee? Its Coffee. 
Now like a Dumwit don't answer me when I ask 'What is there in Old Monk?!"




So reading the above, by all means you might think that the obvious place I am on a Saturday night will be in a bar drinking and sinking! If you think the same then I must say you are outrightly wrong! 
Because 'MSCDH' .......Now please don't think what 'MSCDH' means. NO, it is not an abbreviation of a Yash Raj banner or any crappy Bollywood movie which has a title, as long as a song. 
MSCDH means Maine Sharab Chod Di Hai!...haha..What a joke!!! ;-) Yeah it is indeed U Bugger!


So here I am.... randomly blogging mind bogglingly!
PS: 'Mind Bogglingly' is not an English word so do not say it and act cool in front of your kids(in future/or if they exist now) because they will immediately question the accreditation of the school you were in.